Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Go check it out and enter for yourself! http://www.thepoineerwoman.com/
Friday, December 3, 2010
Zabba is doing great and thriving! She is getting very excited for Christmas and is asking for every toy under the sun...including ones that I KNOW she won't play with. I'm guessing it must be the age and the very successful toy advertising.
We had a funny conversation during our bedtime routine last night. Normally the routine is jammies, movie with snack, brush teeth, sing song, tuck in and then dad comes in scratches her back and tells her a story. Well last night she decided she wanted me to sing Santa Clause is Coming to Town-OK, fine. I got done singing and Abby says to me "Mommy, Santa can't really see us all the time can he? Cuz I don't want him to see my bottom" so I reassured her that Santa can't see her bottom. It did get me thinking though-what a scary song!
Think about it-an old man with a beard is watching you all the time. He knows when you are sleeping, he knows when your awake, he knows if you've been bad or good (so be good for goodness sake...sorry couldn't resist). Not only that he's making a list and he's checking it twice...what is on this list may I ask? My name for certain, I'm guessing where I live and what I like and don't like. What kinds of things I have been up to and whether or not they are good or bad. Sounds to me like it's the perfect set up for a serial killer character in a new CSI show!
Alright, well that's enough rambling from me.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Well today there was a little girl about 4 years old and her mom visiting one of my co-workers (I'm assuming this was her daughter and grand-daughter but I don't know for sure) and this little girl kept standing in the doorway of the store making the sensor go off so poor Emily didn't know if someone was in the store or not.
Let me just say this is not what is irritating me-I can understand children really like to do things to figure out the cause and effect of the action. What irritates me is the fact that this child was standing there and when Emily asked her to please move, she went and told her mommy (who was NOT paying attention to her child and was chatting with said co-worker on the other side of the atrium) that the lady told her that she couldn't stand by the store. So she told her daughter "Oh you don't have to listen to her. You can stand wherever you want...it's not like she can see you anyway" and off the little girl went to stand in the doorway again.
O M G!! SERIOUSLY?!?!
I don't get it at all-why not take this as an opportunity to educate your child and teach your child compassion.
Oh, and yes I did say something to the little girl and let her know what the beeping was for and she seemed to understand and moved just a little bit so the beeping stopped. I'm sure I pissed off the co-worker but I don't care.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
I have started reading a blog called The Spohrs are Multiplying. The blog itself isn't sad and neither are Heather or Mike (the blog authors). Heather and Mike had a daughter named Madeline who was born premature and had issues with her lungs and as such was on oxygen and had to do breathing treatments. She got sick in April of 2009 and her lungs couldn't take it any more. She passed away on April 7, 2009.
The Hubby's birthday is on April 7th-so while I was making The Hubby chocolate cupcakes with Zabba last year this family was experiencing the worst possbile thing on Earth. Just realizing that makes my skin break out with goose bumps and brings tears to my eyes and absolutely positively breaks my heart.
It also makes me ask myself...why them? It's so obvious how much they loved their little girl and what awesome parents they were to her which brings me to the thought that if they are such awesome parents and she was such a wonderful little girl and this horrible thing happened-who's to say that the same thing could happen to my family...to my little girl, my Zabba. These are thoughts that make me sad and keep me awake at night worrying.
It's not that I worry about Zabba being sick (which she's not) but I worry about my parenting skills and my ability to appreciate her personality, her unconditional love, her ability to push every.single.one.of.my.buttons.-am I being to strict with her, am I giving her enough space to become her own person, am I giving her too much space, am I spending enough quality time with her, should I stay home with her, should I continue working...and a multitude of other thoughts that just run through my mind because I realize that at any moment it can all just disapear...*poof*
Anyhow, I started reading the begining of their blog (as I usually do when I get into a new blog so I have reference points to current posts) and I have been reading about their joys and their heartaches and I can honestly say I am hooked, however, as I read about the worst possible thing that could ever happen to parents, I can only say that I am so sad. My heart aches for both Heather and Mike and little Maddie who struggled for so long and fought a fight that was so hard.
I can't imagine how those two people were able to live after going through something so horrific. All I do know is that my heart is broken for them and I wish I could do more to make their heartache less for their little girl that is gone but I can't. I can't do anything to take away the pain and the sorrow and the tears. I can do nothing to bring back their little girl and to give them the one thing they want more than anything in their life which is just one more minute with Maddie-I can't do it and I wish I could.
Well, there is more that I would like to say, but honestly I don't know how. Nor do I know how to end this blog post. I do have more to say on the matter, but I just can't seem to form the words that are swirling in my head about this, nor do I know why it is affecting me as much as it is. Maybe it's because I'm a mother and I can't imagine what life would be like without my very spirited, opinionated, stubborn and often sassy little girl.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Heck I haven't even had time to read a new book! And that's saying a lot for me since those things are like crack to me-once I start one everything else in my life goes on hold until I finish it-well, it's not quite that bad but still I let a few things slide until I'm done reading a book...you know unimportant things like doing the dishes or washing the laundry.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
I have had to go into the supervisor's office a few times this week to discuss issues I am having with our database and a couple of other issues I've been having with persons not doing what they should be. Anyway, my point is-after sitting down with her to figure out a resolution, I have walked out of her office TWO TIMES this week with empty candy wrappers in my hand and do not remember conciously making the decision to eat said candy...I was just mindlessly eating bites size morsels of candy and wondering later why the hell my stomach hurt and why I felt high (I could literally feel my brain reacting to the addition of so much real sugar to my body after so long with out it in concentrated doses).
Obviously I eat while under stress, I guess I never realized how big of thing it was for me-now when I go into her office I'm going to make a concious effort to literally put the lid on her candy jar to deter me from eating it's contents.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Zabba: Mommy I like to go to the store! I get to buy Bug Juice
Me: Yes, I know. But you should only go to the store with Mommy or Daddy or someone you know.
Z: Yeah but not with strangers!
M: You're right! Not with strangers..good job! But wait! What if the stranger has a sucker?
Z: No, not even if they have a sucker because they are a stranger.
Breif moment of me jumping for joy on the inside that my baby knew that answer!
M: VERY GOOD JOB!! That is right!
I'm so proud that she is getting that strangers don't always have her best interests in mind and that some of them could potentially hurt her. This is definitely a conversation that I am going to be keeping up with her only I am going to be offering her different options as to what they could be telling her.
I hope she will never have to use this information in real life and that all those creepers out there leave my little girl alone!! But that being said if she is approached by someone then hopefully she can do her best to help keep herself safe.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
- Thursday August 26th: Sister gets laid off from her job
- Friday August 27th: Stepmother dies unexpectdedly-she was married to my father for 24 years
- Tuesday August 31st: Father decides it's best for him to go back to work (only God knows why he would think this) driving his dump truck (I mean it's not as if he has to concentrate to do this job!) and has an accident at work which results in a partially amputated ring finger and an almost partially amputated middle finger on his left hand.
- Thursday September 2nd: The apartment 3 doors down from my sister starts on fire and all have to evacuate the apartment building. Thankfully(?!) no damage is done to my sister's apartment other than everything smells like burnt plastic.
- Wednesday September 8th: One of my dad's birds (there were 4 total and they used to be step-mom's and also the loves of her life) died unexpectdedly
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
So via my friend Tima over in Living in Dar I am going to do a Writer's Workshop which she got from Moma Kat over at Moma's Losin It!.
The task is to choose a topic from her list and write about it then link back to her blog. I am choosing to:
Describe your dream home…house, location, and grounds.
Ok, here goes. My dream home would be in the country on a private lake with a minimum of 40 acres of land. It would have 5 bedrooms: 1 master, 1 for Zabba, 1 for The Hubby's stuff, 1 for a craft/sewing room for me and one as a guest bedroom
4 bathrooms: 1 master bath (complete with a multi-shower head shower, large jacuuzi tub and his and her sinks), 2 guest baths (1 full and 1 half bath) and 1 bath for Zabba
Dining room, Living room, Kitchen, Play room, Library and Office would be located on the main floor and be complete with all natural hard wood floors. The Kitchen would be state of the art and all rooms would be complete with a sound system so music can be played/heard in any room at any time. Each room would have their own ability to turn off the music if the person in the room so chose. All bedrooms would be on the second floor with the exception of the Master which would be on the 3rd floor kind of like a suite.
The back yard would be complete with a large play area that is reminicent of local school play areas. There would also be an area for The Hubby to bring a dirt bike, mud truck, 4-wheeler out to play.
Oh, and naturally there would be a cleaning service to come in every other day to keep the place clean!
- Go horseback riding again
- Learn how to ice skate or ski (yes, I live in a climate where winter is 9 months out of the year and I don't know how to ice skate, ski or snowboard)
- Purchase a motorcycle and paint it purple and get a matching helmet
- Get a college degree
- Get out of debt
- Go back into debt by purchasing a house
- Learn to speak Spanish
- Take Zabba to Disney World
- Go to Mexico, Ireland, Germany or Italy (not in that order)
- Get more tattoos
- Become financially self sufficient (I think this could be a pipe dream, but I'm putting it on here anyway)
- Purchase a Chevy Nomad and paint it Cherry Red and White
- Go Camping with my family
- Buy a boat
- Go fishing with Zabba and The Hubby
- Go Sky Diving
- Purchase a bicycle for myself
- Become a stay at home mom...even though Zabba is starting school next year (*GASP*)
- Grow a flower garden
- Grow a veggie garden
- Learn to pickle/can veggies
- Make Grape Jelly
- Start my own business
- Become a more proficient sewer
- Stay in better contact with my family
- Run a 5K
- Get another dog...even though The Hubby is dead set against having another dog (I'm thinking this is another pipe dream)
- Purchase a bed frame (that's right, my matress is on the floor)
- Visit Las Vegas again and this time go see the Grand Canyon
- Go on a cruise to the Carribean
- Go on a vacation with my BFF
- Win the Lottery (even if it's just winning my dollar back!)
- Get plastic surgery (this is totally vain, but after BF'ing Zabba and losing all that weight, let's just say that things aren't where they are supposed to be)
- Donate my eggs to someone who can't use their own to get pregnant
- Work from home
- Have laser hair removal done on my legs so I never have to shave again (odd I know but I really hate shaving!)
- Buy a new wardrobe (I need to do this anyway, but I'm waiting until I'm done losing weight)
- Join another adult kickball and softball team
- Move to a warmer climate
- Bring Zabba to see the ocean
So...what's your list?
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
- My husband has lost his income so we are down to my income alone. He is finishing up his apprenticeship at the local tattoo shop so even tho he works 9-11 hour days, he's not getting compensated for them since his education is his payment...I guess I prefer to look at this as free schooling. He's doing side jobs to earn some extra cash which has helped and I have taken on another job to help with finances; which is sufficient for now.
- We had to put Princess Ilean, our boxer of 7 1/2 years, to sleep on March 31st. WOW! that was hard. I still miss her but I know she is in a better place and she is no longer in pain. We think it was cancer that took her because of how quickly she deteriorated and the fact that she was not responding to any kinds of pain meds.
- I have gone from 312 lbs to my current weight (as of this morning) 196lbs!! I feel fabulous!
- I completed my first ever 5K! New goal for next year is to run it instead of walking it.
- I completed my second ever 5K the following week.
- Zabba has sprouted a new "sassy" attitude that I am still trying to figure out how to un-sprout (is that even a word?). MAN O MAN this kid has got A-T-I-T-U-D-E!! We have implemented operation "Hot Sauce" in our house when she is being naughty. The threat of this works better for us than time-outs and is apparently a worser fate than having your toenails ripped out one by one with a Barbie Tweezer.
- Speaking of Barbie...she has invaded our house! On the plus side I like her better than the Bratz dolls that look like local prostitutes.
- Got an awesome new tattoo in April and I hope to be adding onto it soon. Not quite sure how I will pay for it, but I guess a gal can dream...right?
Well, other that those things above, not much has been happening. I promised pictures for you in October and again in February so here they FINALLY are...the First one was taken October 19th the day before surgery and the last one was taken on July 25th at Zabba's 4th birthday party.
Here I am at a size 26/28 and 303.4lbs
Here I am at a size 16 and 198lbs
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
I had my surgery on October 20th and it was successful! I made it through completely unscathed (with the exception of 6 minor incisions on my abdomen that make it look like I could potentially sport a smiley face). The day of surgery I weighed in at 303.8lbs (which is down from my highest of 312lbs in August) and last week when I went to the doctor to have my knees checked out, I weighed in at 238.6lbs!
It's been quite the journey and I have found support in places I didn't think I would. A couple of places I regularly visit are:
Obesity Help-has been awesome for me because I get to talk to people who are going through much of the same things I am or they are further along in the process and understand where I am coming from and can help me with potential problems (like finding new ways to get protein in my diet which I struggle with at times). This site is for pre-ops, post-ops, no-ops and everyone who struggles with weight. I love this site and have been going to it everyday.
The World According to Eggface-Shelly is awesome and an inspiration! She is post op and had the same surgery as I did in 2006. I love her website because she is funny, tells it how it is and has some really awesome recipes that are FANTABULOUS! I have been making several of her dishes and my husband doesn't realize they are healthy (shh...don't tell him!). Also, she has some really awesome ways on how to get the protein in without eating the same thing over and over again which is a bonus! I HIGHLY recommend any one of her protein ice cream recipes! (BTW-she is currently having a giveaway on her blog-a Bento box this week, and something new and exciting next week! Check her out!)
I do have a couple of pictures that need to be posted so you can see my progress, but I have to say so far things are moving along rather well and I am surprised by the results I have seen. I will do my best to get the pictures up on the blog.
Well, I guess I better get back to work...UGH! Work-this has to be the worst 4-letter word in the dictionary!